Spirit

Has it ever felt that there were two opposing forces inside of you, each pulling in opposite directions?

One, simply loves life and people, and is endlessly curious about exploring and experiencing the world. This “energy force” is ALIVE and free, creative, expressive, abundant and playful. This part of ourselves guides us calmly and adeptly through new and challenging experiences. It’s guidance doesn’t come from the “head’s thinking”, IT is much more powerful, wise, clear and knowing than the mind. Intuition, heart, inspiration, love, joy and peace are associated with this energy. When we access IT, we feel warmth, serenity, centered and connected to the world. Life flows. We’re fulfilled, fully self-expressed, and every moment IS a “magic moment”. When we live from this space, we KNOW — “all is well” and life is a joy.

I call this energy force “spirit” or soul. And, it’s always there for us to access.

The other “energy force” is more practical, cautious, judgmental, and protective. This force wants to look good for others, or at the very least, avoid looking bad. “It” likes to control, although pretends that it’s not. “It” views the world as a potentially harmful place, fears being hurt and exposed, thus remains separate, isolated and closed from others. It blames, criticizes, compares, and makes excuses. “Should” is one of its favorite words. This energy looks for answers from its mindalthough often confuses “reality” from something “made-up”. Living isolated within the confines the body, “it” mostly just wants to be “safe” and “independent”.

I call this energy force “ego”. And, it too, is always there for us to access.

We’ve all experienced both of these forces in our life. As human beings, we need both to exist. Spirit is the “life force energy” that is about experiencing, creating, expressing and connecting in this world, while the ego is more like a “body guard” or “tour guide”. The Ego’s job is to keep the physical body safe, and guide your “spirit” through the journey of life. However, it often oversteps its duties and responsibilities.

Most people don’t realize the nature of these two individual forces, and continue to struggle between these two energies. Sometimes, it feels like we have split personalities, but rest assured this is part of the human design. The Ego is much more forceful when it comes to being in control, and thus plays a more dominant role in our livesoften suppressing our true Spirit. Spirit shows up sporadically for most, when we let our our “thinking minds” go, spend time in nature, engage in something creative, meditate or get desperate enough to seek assistance. Have you noticed, as soon as you “surrender” solutions appear? When you become more conscious about the nature of these forces, you can learn to access this all-knowing, wise and powerful force in your life more consistently. The result is a life with MORE peace, joy, love, abundance and creative flow and LESS stress, overwhelm, scarcity and fear.

DISTINGUISHING - Ego from SPIRIT
Since the Ego can be sneaky in it’s expression, it’s important to recognize its nature. I’ve included a list below of Ego characteristics and its “Spirit counterpart”. SEPARATION is the common theme to each word set below. The Ego strives to keep you separate from the world, separate in relationships and separate from your Spirit and its full self-expression, joy and inner peace. It does this through resistance, restriction, blaming, being self-righteous and fearful. The ego also expresses itself as “neediness”, which is a form of separating from self (separating from your power)believing that YOU need something “over there” to complete you. The ego has many faces, all working to keep you “separate”.

* Separation vs. Connection

* Mind vs. Heart

* Victim vs. Taking Responsibility

* Excuses vs. Results

* SHOULDS vs. Inspiration

* Resistance vs. Acceptance

* Restricted vs. Freedom

* Confusion vs. Clarity

* Suppressed vs. Fully Self-Expressed

* Worry vs. Anticipation

* Stuck vs. Creativity

* Stressed vs. Peace

* Frustrated vs. Resourceful

* Protection vs. Vulnerable

* Fear vs. Love

* Laziness vs. Nurturing

* Doubt vs. Trust

* Scarcity vs. Abundance

* Shut-down vs. Open

* Shame vs. Acceptance

* Apprehension vs. Courageous

* Struggle vs. Flow

Take the first word in each pair. Perhaps you already recognize how familiar they are to youas it is for most human beings. Imagine living your life predominantly from these states of being — a life of separation, “shoulds”, confusion, restriction, resistance, etc.? How would that feel? Yuck. Unfortunately, this is how 83% of the population lives (read Power vs. Force by David Hawkins)

Take the second word in each pair. Imagine living a life lived predominantly from these states of being? Joy, peace, love, creativity, freedom and full self-expression. While it’s not the norm of today, it is possible. Only 17% of the population access this way of being, and are still subject to the grips of the Ego.

CULTIVATING Connection with Spirit
How can we access “spirit” so that it naturally becomes the dominant energy force in our lives? How can we maximize the peace, joy and flow in our lives? Below are 7 Keys to get started.

Get Present. When we’re truly in the present moment, we have great access to Spirit. When we’re focused on the past, feelings of regret, pain and turmoil can overtake us, cutting us off from Spirit. When we’re focused on the future, we often get distracted in feelings of worry, hope and fear. starving our energies from creating NOW. It is in the “present moment” where we find peace, joy and connection to Spirit.

Choose High Vibrations - Consciously choosing high vibration states, such as peace, joy, love, appreciation, generosity and other “good feelings” strengthens connection to Spirit, and deflate the Ego. Anyone that teaches about manifesting abundance always emphasize the focus on “good feeling states”. Like attracts like. The book “Power vs. Force” quantifies energetic qualities on a scale of 1 to 1000. In addition to empowering emotional states, you can raise your energetic vibration through movement and exercise, drinking water, practicing random acts of kindness, meditation, laughing, spending time in nature and contributing to others. David Hawkins second book “The Eye of the I” also talks about additional ways to cultivate higher energy states.

Take Responsibility through Conscious Choices - Our Egos like to play “victim”, and lead you to believe that you’re not powerful or at choice in the matter. Drama. Drama. Drama. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a powerful, responsible choice available. What do you need to ask for? What do you need to let go of? Whose help could you request? What’s the next step you could take? What is your ultimate outcome? When you take responsible action, you are “responding to Spirit”. Don’t be a victim, make a conscious new choice.

Radically reduce “thought”. For most people, this is a tough one. Our human ego-dominated minds like to run non-stop. Many of us assume that “thinking” is intelligence. But, are you doing the “thinking”, or is “it” thinking you? Even the most intelligent minds must ultimately learn to break free of “thought”, finding stillness — because this is where true freedom lies. It is only in the “stillness” of mind where a different type of “thought” appears and our connection to Spirit comes alive. Eckhart Tolle, author of “Power of Now” was asked what his greatest accomplishment in life wasand his answer, “radically reducing the thoughts in my mind”.

Humility - Ego is about being right, criticizing, judging and making others wrong. Stepping into “humility” is the fastest way to release the ego’s grip. (read “The Eye of the I”). Admitting critical, judging or self-righteous behavior is liberating. Stepping into “not knowing” is more powerful than “being right”. Read the article on “Humility” from Soulfully Living Issue #25.

Listen to Spirit - In my Mastermind Group, we explored, “How do you tell the difference between the “spirit voice” and the “ego voice”?”. Simply put, the ego voice is almost always associated with feelings of angst, resistance, doubt, fear, questioning, guilt and confusion. Spirit’s voice is clear, wise, knowing, precise and brings peace, more often serves your Greater Good.

SOULFUL CHALLENGE: One of my favorite practices is to “just act on Spirit’s voice”. Throughout the day, consciously listen for Spirit to guide your decisions. Clear your head, ask for guidance, and LISTEN. Then, act. It’s important to act quickly, before your Ego can jump in and start analyzing Spirit’s request. Just trust and go with it. If Spirit doesn’t respond immediately with direction, just wait. An answer will show up. Then - act. Try this for ONE WEEK. Every time I make this conscious commitment, I’m amazed at where Spirit leads me. Often it doesn’t make sense in the moment, but then becomes clear later. The gifts are incredible. Try this!

Commit to the Process - To cultivate a deeper relationship to Spirit, and radically reduce the control of Ego in your life is a process. Life gets in the way. You’ll notice yourself getting stuck, being fearful, resisting life, and blaming others. But, as you deepen your commitment to the process, you will find you’re able to recognize the destructive and unconscious patterns in your life more quickly, and make responsible, conscious choices to take empowering action.

Mary Allen, Master Certified Coach, has earned a reputation as a results oriented coach, trainer and speaker. She is the author of “The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love”. For tips, strategies, ideas and reminders for creating a more fulfilling life, sign up for Mary’s email newsletter, SoulFULLY Living at http://www.powerofinnerchoice.com.

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Religion often draws us into rules, legalism, and bondage.

If your heart’s desire is truly to be with your heavenly Father, live in the Spirit and fulfill His will in the earth. Reassess what and who is drawing you and where they are taking you.

Jesus said “the Father draws” by His Spirit those He has chosen to come unto Me (John 6:44). Solomon wrote in Song of Songs 1:4 “Draw me, and we will run after You!” (read it in the King James Version, KJV).

Is your spiritual well shallow or deep (Isaiah 12:3; John 4:11)? With what upbringing have you been brought up? What is your spiritual heritage?

In Christ believers throughout the world possess a power by the Holy Spirit that the world spiritually needs and craves (Acts 1:8; 1 Corinthians 4:20). Buddhists, Hindus and Muslims throughout the world seek the life of God you have. They pray and hear no voice as you are so privileged having a connection to the living God (John 10:27; Hebrews 3:7-8). They see no signs and wonders daily confirming the religious words they diligently read. Unlike we who know the living Word in power and hear the voice of the Holy Spirit (Mark 16:20; Hebrews 4:12).

How can you even consider being in a dead church stuck in a spiritually shallow place while the great depths of God flow like rivers of living water in your belly? The Spirit of Christ within you is capable of nourishing nations hungry and thirsty for the living God (John 7:37-39). Don’t let dead religion void of spiritual life and spontaneity snuff out your inner life in Christ.

Be cleansed with the water of God’s Word (Ephesians 5:26), strengthened in your faith to fulfill your divine destiny (Hebrews 11:6), and take rest in your soul that you may be continually refreshed (Isaiah 30:15).

“Deep calls unto deep!” (Psalm 42:7)

Many are called; few are chosen. God has called you. Will you respond or seek to remain among the shallow?

Show me your friends and I will show you your future. Your geographic planting often facilitates or thwarts the fulfillment of your purpose.

You are a burning light. Please do not allow yourself to be quenched and extinguished by people who disregard the God of your forefathers, make a mockery of your Spirit life, and do not understand your inner motivations and divine inspiration.

Arise and shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord has arisen upon thee! Come out from the dead and be separate unto the Lord. You cannot put a live branch upon a dead tree, neither can you walk freely when stuck in concrete structures. Embrace the flow and fluency of the Spirit. Make a divine exodus out of dead religion and never look back!

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I gave a partner of mine a book once. It was called “He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. You can look it up on Amazon. It was one of the best relationship books I had read. Basically, the premise of the whole book is what underpins the US television series, Sex in the City.

The theme goes something like “men are afraid to tell women that the relationship is over, so they just drop the bundle and start acting poorly. Women think this is ok, natural, and therefore, compromise. Then there is resentment, dragged out relationships and misery.”

I thought this book set a sort of standard that men needed to understand. It implied that ‘nearly good enough’ wasn’t, and that a marriage contract was not a license to drop the romance that caused it in the first place. The more I read the book, the more I realised that although it was written for women about men, all the issues were actually identical for men about women.

I meet both men and women in business all over the world. They are very demanding people - exacting uncompromising standards of quality control, discipline, focus and attention from everyone who works with them, and more so from themselves. At home, they are highly exacting with their children, expecting the best, helping them grow and learn. But when it comes to their relationship, my witnessing has not been all that positive.

Although we now have an ever improving standard of equality of the sexes at work, very few men can be humble enough to honor it at home. It seems that in the lists of most professional peoples priorities, their relationship is highest on their agenda when they are horny or lonely, or when something is not going well at work. But when the wind is blowing nicely, the sails are up and the sky is blue, their attention to relationship takes a back seat.

I know that nobody can treat you better than you treat yourself. So, unlike the book mentioned above, I don’t see victims. I do, however, see the need to draw lines in the sand. (This does not include emotionally disturbed people who cannot remain attractive. They need to personally clean up their emotional laundry, by taking some responsibility for it so they can actually turn up for a relationship). Lines in the sand are for an emotionally healthy individual, who deserves to be met in relationship as the most important person in their partner’s life. And for this, I think the book is a great call to action for both men and women.

It must be a shock for those women who realise they are bound up in a marriage with children and a man who is “just not that into you.” I think it is at this point that this book can be of enormous value. I believe compromise is completely unnecessary; it is out of the question in a healthy spirited life. Here are just a few of the reasons I think that being with a person who is “just not that into you” does not need to be tolerated.

1. You are not a victim. Nobody treats you better than you treat yourself. If you can’t see that you deserve better how can they?

2. Nothing is missing it just changes in form. Sometimes the affection in a relationship comes from other relationships, and therefore, fills a person’s personal space. Like ex partners, children, friends, families, sports, religion, yoga gurus, self-obsession, and financial obsession. Many times, people are connected to other people and things in an intimate and valued bond. They are not available. Nothing is missing, so, if the space is already taken by someone else, how can a lover step into it

3. What you appreciate grows. If you want to be honored and treated better, it is wise to appreciate what you are getting. Complaining about what you are not getting is a sure fire way to reduce the value of what little may already exist. Sometimes, and especially when “he’s just not into you”, there is an expectation that no matter how you treat someone else, they will still treat you well. A person, who is not thankful, is the most unromantic sausage on earth. And thank you’s are not what goes on in your head. I remember one lady said to me, “I was always thankful, I just forgot to show it”. It’s the small things that count.

4. Are you hoping to be treated better than you treat yourself? I meet some very stressed out, mentally exhausted, totally hyperventilating people running around self-obsessing about their work their kids, their age or their country of residence, who are looking for a relationship to “solve their personal problems.” Marianne Williamson makes the comment, “Make a list of all the things you want in your love, list them all. Then look at that list, imagine the person, and then ask yourself “would that person go out with you?” Her suggestion is that you become those things on the list.

5. Love is a lifestyle. Can you imagine that in the book on “he’s just not that into you”, there is no talk about how diet, clothing, health, happiness, stillness, spirit can affect how a partner feels about you. If you both eat heavy at night, then love is a slugging match. Two full bellies rubbing against each other does not make for romance. I remember one lady who loved to dance. She gave it up for her relationship and wondered why her partner, who encouraged her to give it up, was just “not into her”. Well the basic answer is, “she was just not into herself”, she loved that dancing and she loved that spirit of life. She lost the spark. So, he got what he wanted; more time, but the quality was poor. Always remember, it’s your job to come home inspired, not theirs to make you inspired.

6. Birthdays, Christmas’s, Valentines Day, weekends. We have broken the year into “special days” so that the rest of the time we can “be normal”. What a stupid idea that is. Who thought of that? Work five days like a zombie, and rest on the weekend, in time for Monday. Have sex at night after dinner. Take romantic holidays. Who broke the year into these mechanised compartments, stole spontaneity and threw away the key.

7. A lot of things get in the way of love that shouldn’t. For a start there’s that emotion we have about the lover who hurt us, or that friend who hurt our friend, or that father who hurt our mother. If you are in a relationship, and don’t know how to process your disappointments, your heartbreaks, you’ll only go on the baby slopes of love. If there is one thing I would love you to learn from my book, one thing I value more than anything else, it’s that you learn how to process your disappointments and heartbreaks so you can stay on the steepest slopes of love, flying into the wind with an open heart and spontaneous joy. I do. This is my spirit. Alive, because I know how to stop on skis, I also know how to process my hurt.

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