Spirit

1. Advocate for your child. This means you need to “spin” your child’s behavior to friends, family and teachers. Has your child’s antics been any worse than our leading politicians? Probably not. Imagine the spinmeisters on talk shows who try to get their politicians elected. Do the same for your child.

2. Coach your child to name and feel ok with all their emotions. Kids act bad when they are mad, sad or “scared”. When you coach your child to tell you what she feels, her bad behavior will heal.

3. Look inside yourself. Sometimes kids act out unexpressed conflicts of their parents. Are you struggling with depression, anxiety, rage? Get help for yourself and your kids will shape up.

4. Think of yourself as a coach. Your job is to coach your child to success in social, emotional and educational settings. Sometimes the answer is practice, practice, practice. Don’t get discouraged if you have to repeat yourself over and over again.

5. Ask yourself: “If my child’s most frustrating behavior was meant to teach me something, what would it be?” Many parents find themselves half distressed and half impressed at their child’s indifference to people pleasing. Sometimes this is just the lesson parents need to learn in their own lives — many parents have become imbalanced in attending too much to seeking approval from others.

6. Forget about the competition. Your child can still strive to be outstanding without it being about comparisons to other children. ADHD and spirited children are sensitive to tension produced by parents’ competitiveness and the fear based motivation inhibits them.

7. Keep Yourself Alive! It takes a lot of energy to keep up with ADHD and spirited kids. You need to become your own energy source. Feed your own passions. If you are married, work to increase your intimacy with your partner. If you are single, keep your own love life alive.

8. Honor the kernel of self-reliance in all acts of defiance. Every time your child doesn’t do what you asked them to do, ask them for an explanation. Honor their independent thinking and consider what part of it you may want to incorporate into your discipline. Continue to insist that your child respect your rules while demonstrating respect for their own rhythm and logic.

9. Practice preventative medicine. Many times children’s bad behavior is a misguided attempt to get some precious attention. Fuel your child up with the highest octane energy you can early in the day. Spend a few minutes being entirely present with your child. Look them in the eyes, touch them lovingly and listen closely to your child. This intense presence will give them what they need and head off desperate pleas for attention. Sometimes just a few minutes will prevent large energy draining hassles.

10. Connect with your child’s teacher. Research has shown over many decades that your child’s educational outcomes are very closely linked with how much the teacher likes your child and how much they expect from your child. This is why you need to advocate for your child at the same time as you connect with your child’s teacher. Show enormous respect for your child’s teachers and try to forge a close alliance with him or her. They will go the extra mile for your child.

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Thank God is perhaps the most basic form of prayer in Western civilization. Even if we didn’t grow up in a home that immersed itself in a rich tradition of spirituality most people would have some familiarity with the idea of table grace. In my work with families over the years I’ve always been amused by the “forced” thankfulness of some young people. If you’re a parent or where once a child you probably know what I’m talking about. Here is how it works. A parent comes to pick up their child from some activity at school, sports, or church. As they leave the parent inevitably says, “Did you say thank you?” to which the child replies with a monotone “thank you,” as he/she walks off to the car. In families where manners are valued the idea of please and thank you are drilled into children from infancy. I’m not complaining about this because it was drilled into me and I’m glad it was.

Yet I wonder how much of this robotic responsiveness to thankfulness continues to influence our spirituality of thankfulness as adults. Consider the fact that in general we tend to approach thankfulness as an obligation and not as spontaneous response of gratitude. We write thank you notes because we’re supposed to and we say thank you to gifts, lunches, and compliments that are less than appealing because we want to be polite. Recent events in our country and across the world bring out glints of genuine thankfulness in our hearts and from our lips. When a crisis strikes a neighbor or a different part of the country we are often reminded of our blessings. We pause to consider that our life isn’t so bad after all and we are very grateful that whatever tragedy has struck, hasn’t struck in our backyard.

Even this kind of thankfulness fails to capture the spirit of Christian thankfulness rooted in the Bible. It is true thankfulness but in a way it’s a thankfulness that says “I’m glad those other people got hurt, and not me.” Closer to the Biblical notion of thankfulness is the mere acknowledged of your heartbeat. The simply thanks for the air you breathe or an innate sense of gratitude when watching children playing. It’s a thankfulness that has been placed deep in our hearts by the Spirit of God. It’s a posture that we as followers of Jesus are to approach life with. Life may have its up and downs, but we won’t change our posture. Christians are fundamentally called to be a thanksgiving people. Are you a thanksgiving person?

Fr Kevin Goodrich O.P. is an Anglican Dominican Priest who travels as a teacher of Christian spirituality and living. He is the author of the book, “Cell Phone Spirituality: What your cell phone can teach you about Life and God.” Visit Father Kevin’s blog at http://dailyspirituality.com/

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I am going to remind of some simple, yet important things, that you should already know, but perhaps need a reminding of just now. I know that I need reminding from time to time and suspect that you may also need the same ’straight to the point’ reminders.

I have written thousands of pages about success, wealth creation, prosperity consciousness and personal empowerment. All those many words are but an elaboration of these nine basic precepts. If you need convincing or want the substantiation or the practical application of these nine precepts, then buy and read my books. If you just need the simple reminder, then read through to the bottom of this page.

1. Creator, or the Ultimate Source, or the All That Is All, or the Universal Creative Impulse, or God, or whatever you may wish to name it, desires your prosperity and success. It does not desire (or demand) any impoverishment, suffering or limitation of any kind for you UNLESS that is what you desire or envision for yourself. Creator wants you to be blessed, wants you to succeed, wants you to have all the wealth and abundance you desire for yourself. Desire is de-sire… of the father. Your desires for wealth and abundance are divine. Honor them.

2. You are an inseparable part of Source. You are a divine creator as well as a sacred creature. Your intimate connection with the All That Is All is always there and cannot ever be severed for any reason EXCEPT that you will it to be so. (and even that is an illusion) You don’t need to do anything to return to Source. You are already there and always have been and always will be at one with The All That Is All. You are a part of, not apart from, Infinite Intelligence. Your consciousness is contained within universal consciousness. Each and every thought held in your consciousness is an integral part of the universal. It adds to the whole. It is creative.

3. You deserve success and wealth. You do not need to measure up to any standard, not even the ones you have set for yourself in order to merit wealth, success or happiness. Abundance is your birthright as a child of God. There is no prime cause at work that denies you the fulfillment of your fondest desires for success and happiness. To the contrary, the universe is set up to support your abundance. Harmonize yourself with the way the universe works and you will have all you envision and desire. It’s all about vibration and harmonics.

4. The Law of Attraction is always working. Whatever you have in your life right now, you have attracted into it. You do not attract what you wish for or even what you envision; you attract what you are. What you have and what you see around you is but a reflection of who you are being in this moment. Denial does not negate the Law of Attraction anymore than it negates Gravity, which is, after all, just another example of the Law of Attraction in action. Become more and you will have more.

5. The choice is always yours. At each and every moment, you have the power to choose to be, do and have more. Or less. Whatever you can imagine, you can have. The four principle forces that power your creativity are: thought, belief, desire and intent. You can choose what and how to think. You can choose what and how to believe. You can choose what to desire. You can choose your intentions. Such is your power. Choose carefully. Choose intentionally. Choose purposefully. Your choices of thought, belief, desire and intent determine who you are. Who you are determines what you get to have.

6. The true purpose of your life is simply to revere, relish and contribute. Life is meant to be a joyful event. When you honor all things, especially yourself, as being sacred; and when you wholeheartedly partake in and appreciate the pleasures of life; and when you consciously and intentionally choose to make a contribution to life… you are fulfilling the purpose of your life and you will experience joy and fulfillment. When you are searching for the purpose of your life, you are seeking the way that you can make a contribution or express your gratitude for the gift of life. Become a blessing and you will be blessed.

7. Love really is all you need. Compassion will open you up to being able to receive and accept all the love, joy and abundance that surrounds you constantly. Compassion for all creation, most especially for your sacred self, is the key that unlocks the door into infinity. Infinite love surrounds you. Be compassionate to life. Become passionate about life and you will experience all the abundance you are willing to allow yourself. In order to love your neighbor as yourself, you need to first love yourself. Love you. Honor you. Cherish you.

8. When you remember these simple things, life makes sense; when you forget them, you get confused by the apparent complexity. You wrote this script, now you are acting it out as the ultimate method actor. However, you may stumble occasionally, in the brilliance of your performance, when you forget the plot. Since you wrote this script, you can change it at any time you desire. Since you are playing the role you wrote, you can play it any way you think best. Drama, comedy, tragedy, romance, adventure, soap opera? You decide.

9. You are hearing this now because you asked to be reminded, from time to time, of what you know, but sometimes forget, as you immerse yourself in the experience of life on planet earth. You came here to play this game. That was your original choice. It remains your choice. I get to be the guy, this time, to remind you of the rules of your game. That is my contribution. Next time, it may be your turn to remind me. We have eternity to play. Eternity exists in this exact moment. Play full out. Now.

I love you. I honor you. I am grateful that you chose to be a part of my life. I am humbled if I can contribute in any way to the pleasure and success of your journey.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra’s DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com

Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

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